Emotional intelligence helps you to bring sanctity in your self talk.
Accordingto Chapter 6.” GO SUCK A LEMON has very nice explanation & method to validate your self talk. This might be very helpful for many people who are struggling with quarter life / mid life crisis, perhaps to everyone.
A + iB = C/D > E
The formula is taking an (A)ctivating event + an irrational(B)elief = an Emotional (C)onsequence which can be divided by (D)isputation for a greater (E)motional outcome.
Let me explain with simple example..
A (Activating event): “My Friend did not wish me on birthday”
iB (Irrational belief) = ( Stimulated by activating event irrational belief will take you for a ride) “No body has time for me, No body would have thought about my birthday ”
C (Consequence) = ( what person feels after having self talk with irrational belief) “I am a failure, I don’t good social life , Nobody likes me, I feel depressed”
D (Disputation)= (Disputation will counter irrational belief and will try to nullify the consequences) Is It true no one wishes me on birthday? , is it true that my success & failure is depended on how many people wishes me on birthday? , is it good social life is defined by how many people remember you on your birthday?
E (Emotional Evolution)= ( Disputation helps you to make an emotional evaluation and bring rationality back)I think I have enough to do on my birthday and I can be content & enjoy without worrying much about who wished me on my birthday.